Remember, happiness is a way of travel, not a destination. -Roy Goodman
Hi guys, today I want to spread some self-love and write about how I’ve changed over the past year and how happy I am with my journey getting there and where I am at now. If you guys want to tell me your stories and tips about how you grow your happiness and your confidence leave them in the comments or tag me in your blog posts, because I would love to read them!
I went into the school year this time around with a completely new perspective on myself and on my life from when I arrived last summer. A lot of it has to do with the fact that I realized some really important things regarding what it means to grow as a person and how happy I have been now that I know how to allow myself to do so. I had a type of epiphany that reminded me that the less I try to cram myself into what other people are, the happier I am going to be, and the less I try to make the days fly by, the more enjoyable the days will be. I realized I have to spend my time allowing myself to grow and finding new excitement in the life I live instead of using my time in high school to create a person that impress colleges and not myself, the happier I am going to be.
Something I have started doing that’s allowing myself to be more optimistic is not feeling obliged to reiterate the feelings of the people around you. Last year and years before that, I would attempt to make friends feel better by always just trying to relate to them and their problems, which consequently brought along the matching of feelings to those I was talking to. If someone was sad, I would be sad too so they wouldn’t feel alone, even if I had had a great day. On the opposite end of the spectrum, if someone was extremely happy and I had a terrible day and felt awful, I would ignore my whole days feelings to be happy for them as a support group. Lately, I have been focusing on being more genuine in this aspect. When other people are in a bad mood or are dealing with something bad, I try not to relate to them on their own level, but I use however I am feeling to help them in any way I can, so if I had a great day and was happy I would do my best to remind them of all the good going on their lives at the moment and how they just have to look at the situation with a fresh perspective. On the other hand, if someone else is immensely happy, I am excited and happy for them, but I don’t ignore the own things going on in my life. In other words, I allow myself to feel the way I feel and not feel bad about it, resulting in me being a lot more genuinely happy for myself and others.
Similarly, I have been focusing a lot more on being more positive to others in general. If I like someone’s outfit, I’m going to compliment them on it. If I think someone is really talented on their instrument, I’m going to compliment them on it. I know I oftentimes think of compliments for a while after they occur, and if I can give that same confidence boost to others then why shouldn’t I? It’s a win-win. I feel satisfied that I was able to brighten another person’s day, and another person’s day was brightened. By putting out more positive energy, I feel like I have been receiving more back. Maybe it’s just my imagination, or maybe it’s karma, but honestly really I don’t care what it is because it has been making me feel more positive and inspired than ever just by putting out there what I want in return.
And when it comes to those friends, I went so long thinking that I was supposed to belong to a group, even if that isn’t always the case. For me, I like a lot of different people, all with different friends and different personalities, likes and dislikes, so belonging to just one small group of friends wasn’t much of an option for me. Because of this I kind of struggled and was confused with how to plan things and enjoy the company of my new friends and old ones. This year I finally started to embrace it, and have focused on spending time with the people I am happy around even if they aren’t all from the same group or aren’t all alike to each other. I obviously have friends that I am closer with than others, but I don’t like to confine myself to only one group. I talk to everyone, make friends with everyone and try my hardest not to exclude anyone, because in the way that I enjoy being on friendly terms with everyone, I want everyone that is looking for friends to feel like I am open to them and that they shouldn’t be unable for any reason to talk to me or my friends. By having many different types of friends it makes me enjoy every part of my day, and never feel like there is no one to talk to. On top of that, by branching out and meeting new people it helps to find new things and allow you to grow and change as a person as you spend time with all these people with different experiences from you.
A variety of friends also means that there is no pressure to conform to any of your peers. This also applies as college looms closer. Many people are under the impression that to impress colleges you have to bog yourself down with extracurriculars. However, what I have realized is that while it is important to spend your time doing something meaningful, high school is supposed to be its own experience in itself, not just the time you spend doing stuff that you hope will impress colleges. So I have been trying new things left and right from picking up guitar and taking a class at my school to joining the speech team, things that I have been interested in but never got involved with for some reason. I’ve been focusing on doing new things that I want to try even if I am the only one doing them because you can always make acquaintances but you can’t shake regret that comes from not doing things you want to do. Already I am feeling happier with myself and what I am involved in, and I look forward to participating in events and practicing for them because they are activities that are right for me. Not activities I am participating in because I need something to throw on my resume. Similarly, I am pretty sure this will be the year I stop trying so hard to be a sports person when I know I am not. I am pretty in shape and enjoy doing physical things often, running, walking, biking, hiking, even swimming laps and playing games, but I am just not in it for the competition. Never has and probably never will be. I am going to focus more on using my extracurriculars as a way to really explore things I want to do, not things like team sports which I have felt obligated to do from a young age because its what everyone else was doing.
Finally, something that has really been changing things for me lately is solely talking. I have had more of a yearning than ever before to express my opinions and not be afraid to add my input into a conversation, and the more I talk about myself and the things I love, the more confident I feel about them. It would be so easy to just sit back and not say anything when everyone else is being loud and rowdy, but really, why should you? You have just the same amount of ability to speak your mind and rights to do so and them so why hold it in? Through participating more in class and at clubs, I find myself more and more often wanting to talk and speak my mind, leading to my newfound ability this year of talking to complete strangers. Last year, I did make new friends don’t get me wrong, but it was more of a gradual thing, and they were made because we had to work together on things or we were forced to start talking to each other for some reason. This year I’ve started to introduce myself to people I have classes with, people I see every day, in the name of making friends and meeting new people. On top of that, there’s just something indescribable that I feel when I meet new people and get to hear their stories and what they’re like. Its one of my favorite experiences now, something I may not have said just a couple years ago. Just through talking, I have experienced myself grow and change in ways I thought I never might, sometimes the simplest things can hold the most excitement.
I know this post is kind of random and pretty informal, but I wanted to express just how happy I am currently feeling and how proud I am of the person I am becoming, the confidence I am learning how to build, and the happiness that is just bubbling inside of me. I promise to be posting some book content soon seeing as I have been reading more and more lately and am hoping to finish some of my half-read books. How is school treating you guys? What do you guys feel proud of about yourselves? Leave some comments down below and spread the self-love!